I don't usually send out my story but this was an experience I have to share with everyone.
Dec. 2 was my 12th year without a drink or any type of drug. The morning of Dec. 3rd '91 I awoke in a hospital almost physically dead. I was already emotionally, mentally, and spiritually gone. This is when I cried out those 3 words we all may at the end "God help Me". I believe now the end leads us to a new beginning if we are willing.
I was laid off in June '02 and have not been able to find employment in my occupation since. Needless to say my financial situation is desperate bills that can't be paid and unable to make another house payment has lead to new higher powers in my life, fear and worry, I allowed them to affect my thinking for days at a time. The depression was so bad I had to lock myself in my house because I was afraid of what I would do if I left my house. Prayer didn't seem to be working. It was on a Sun. afternoon when I had to go out. While driving around I knew I was going to drink, between the tears and trying not to think I put a tape in and the speaker said "We must build a indestructible foundation, steps 1,2,3, in AA for at some point in our recovery we will encounter an emotional storm so devastating it will destroy the AA house we have built on that foundation. It was then I realized Creator was doing for me what I could not do for myself and the foundation is what was keeping me sober when I was trying to GIVE UP. That is when I surrendered again. My financial situation hasn't changed much but I have found some peace and acceptance in my life once again. If you need to make a change in your life SURRENDER don't give up.